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This was a recent Daily Mail headline in response to
the conclusions reached in the Family Justice Review.
There had been an indication earlier in the year
that the law may be changed in relation to contact
between children and their absent parents.
Groups representing such parents had hoped that
there would now be a presumption in favour of
shared care. However, the report concluded that
this was seen as unnecessary. Each case should be
dealt with on its own merits. Many specialist family
lawyers agree with this outcome. However, I am
not so sure. Time and time again I have witnessed
one parent assuming that they can control when the
other parent can see the children and under what
circumsatnces.
Clients often say, “I have asked and asked to have the
kids overnight but she/he won’t let me”. Or “I would
love to take the kids on holiday but he/she won’t
agree to it” Has anyone stopped to think what the
impact of all of this is upon the children? If there
was a presumption in favour of shared care, attitudes
such as these would surely have to change. It would
be for the resident parent to come up with valid
reasons as to why there shouldn’t be shared care. A
judge would still be able to make an order that was
suitable for the needs of the particular child.
This might get us away from situations like the
following:
Mr and Mrs Smith had a little girl aged 5. Mrs Smith
worked shifts and Mr Smith was able to drop Amy
off at school half of the week as he had organised
this with his employers. When neither parent was
available, Mr Smith’s mother would step in. She
and Amy loved their time together. Mr Smith was
a hands on father, he cooked, washed, ironed and he
took Amy to all of her swimming lessons.
However, Mrs Smith started to have an affair. She
told Mr Smith that he would have to leave their home
and that she had hired a child-minder to drop Amy
off at school. Mr Smith would now have to negotiate
with Mrs Smith as to when he could see Amy!
Whilst the judge made sure that Mr Smith would see
Amy for half of the Christmas and Easter holidays his
attitude towards daily contact made we wonder why
I do this job. He said, “Mr Smith will have to adhere to
the industry standard which is contact once a week
during the week for tea and every other weekend
from Friday to Sunday”. He then helpfully went on
to say that grandmother should not be involved in
the daily care of Amy as there was a perfectly good
child-minder available for this purpose.
There was no good reason for the judge to say this
other than a complete lack of imagination. How
insulting for Amy to be referred to as an industry
standard. A friend of mine whose parents were
divorced said that her journey to school with her
dad on a morning, even when she was fifteen, was
was one of the best bits of her day. It’s when they
did most of their chatting.
Fortunately for Mr Smith, the judge at the final
hearing was persuaded that Amy would benefit far
more from time spent with her Dad rather than the
child-minder!
If you are having difficulty seeing your child or
grandchild seek help from a solicitor. Your child has
a right to see you now!
This was a recent Daily Mail headline in response to
the conclusions reached in the Family Justice Review.
There had been an indication earlier in the year
that the law may be changed in relation to contact
between children and their absent parents.
Groups representing such parents had hoped that
there would now be a presumption in favour of
shared care. However, the report concluded that
this was seen as unnecessary. Each case should be
dealt with on its own merits. Many specialist family
lawyers agree with this outcome. However, I am
not so sure. Time and time again I have witnessed
one parent assuming that they can control when the
other parent can see the children and under what
circumsatnces.
Clients often say, “I have asked and asked to have the
kids overnight but she/he won’t let me”. Or “I would
love to take the kids on holiday but he/she won’t
agree to it” Has anyone stopped to think what the
impact of all of this is upon the children? If there
was a presumption in favour of shared care, attitudes
such as these would surely have to change. It would
be for the resident parent to come up with valid
reasons as to why there shouldn’t be shared care. A
judge would still be able to make an order that was
suitable for the needs of the particular child.
This might get us away from situations like the
following:
Mr and Mrs Smith had a little girl aged 5. Mrs Smith
worked shifts and Mr Smith was able to drop Amy
off at school half of the week as he had organised
this with his employers. When neither parent was
available, Mr Smith’s mother would step in. She
and Amy loved their time together. Mr Smith was
a hands on father, he cooked, washed, ironed and he
took Amy to all of her swimming lessons.
However, Mrs Smith started to have an affair. She
told Mr Smith that he would have to leave their home
and that she had hired a child-minder to drop Amy
off at school. Mr Smith would now have to negotiate
with Mrs Smith as to when he could see Amy!
Whilst the judge made sure that Mr Smith would see
Amy for half of the Christmas and Easter holidays his
attitude towards daily contact made we wonder why
I do this job. He said, “Mr Smith will have to adhere to
the industry standard which is contact once a week
during the week for tea and every other weekend
from Friday to Sunday”. He then helpfully went on
to say that grandmother should not be involved in
the daily care of Amy as there was a perfectly good
child-minder available for this purpose.
There was no good reason for the judge to say this
other than a complete lack of imagination. How
insulting for Amy to be referred to as an industry
standard. A friend of mine whose parents were
divorced said that her journey to school with her
dad on a morning, even when she was fifteen, was
was one of the best bits of her day. It’s when they
did most of their chatting.
Fortunately for Mr Smith, the judge at the final
hearing was persuaded that Amy would benefit far
more from time spent with her Dad rather than the
child-minder!
If you are having difficulty seeing your child or
grandchild seek help from a solicitor. Your child has
a right to see you now!
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