At the start of January Tim dragged himself out of bed to go back to work after the Christmas break. He had not enjoyed the holiday period as he and his wife Sally had spent the entire time arguing. Just before he left for work Sally said that she needed to speak to him. What she said next came as a shock. She no longer loved him, she had found someone else and she wanted a divorce. She also said that he was to leave the house as soon as possible but that he could see the children on a regular basis. Reeling from this news Tim arrived at Emmersons solicitors for advice.
Tim was told that he had as much right to live in the matrimonial home as Sally. They should decide whether the house should be sold and the proceeds split between them (not necessarily in equal shares). Alternatively one of them could buy out the other’s share.
Tim was advised not to move out until these issues were sorted out. Things could become very difficult for him if Sally’s new partner decided to move in before all financial matters were settled! As far as the children were concerned, it was established that Tim had been a very hands on Dad. He was used to caring for the children when Sally was at work. He was used to taking them to school. There was no reason why Sally should decide that she should be the main carer.
Tim was asked to start collecting all of his financial documentation. This included details of his pension, savings and salary and the value of the matrimonial home. Sally’s solicitor would provide all of her financial documents. Then an offer could be put forward to settle matters.
Emmersons were able to liase with a mortgage advisor with Tim’s authority. Basic details were given, the idea being to find out how much by way of a new mortgage Tim could raise either to buy out Sally or to purchase a new home for himself.
Armed with this knowledge Tim advised Sally that he would not be moving out and that he would continue to take the children to school every day as he had always done. Sally was so desperate to be with her new partner that she moved out. She was prepared to allow Tim to buy her out. Whilst this is not a happy ending story it gives a flavour of how people can be helped with the right advice.
January is the busiest time for divorce lawyers. Christmas can be a very stressful time for couples who have been struggling to get along. They often find themselves thrown together for nearly two weeks and at the end of that time one party often feels that they can’t go on with the relationship. Anyone in this position should seek advice before making any rash decisions.
And don’t dismiss Relate as “not for me.” There are many out there who have lived to fight another day together.
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